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 PFC Publications!
Chaplains across the country and other volunteers rely on PFC for Biblical devotions and other religious material. We endeavor to expand our influence in this area because it is important for an inmate to have positive and uplifting reading material available. PFC produces the following: "Living for Jesus: Behind Bars," "What’s Next," as well as "Yard Out," our national inmate newspaper.
YARD OUT, Spring 2010. A PFC Publication
JOY COMES
IN THE MORNING
by Adam Porter
Though I do not have it as hard as some people, I don’t think many would say my life has
been easy. I was 14 years old when my mother breathed her last breath, my arms still wrapped
around her. To make things worse, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer only a
year after my mother’s unexpected death. In an attempt to forget my problems, and fill the
void in my life, I turned to drugs.
I began hanging out with the “wrong people” as
most would call them, and started running the streets.
When I was 16 my father died. My best friend,
my foundation, my support, my life, my world, my
everything; passed away in my arms.
Many times I picked up a knife and put it to my
throat, pressing so hard against my skin that it left
tiny cuts. I never had the heart, or the guts, to take
my own life. Life was nothing but pain, misery and
depression. I felt alone in the world with no one to
turn to. I hated God.
My life was a steady downward spiral. I stumbled
around from state to state, a young, dumb kid
with no sense of direction. “I have to keep moving. I
have to keep running,” I told myself.
Little did I know, it was impossible to escape.
You see, all along, I was running from the man in the
mirror. How can you get away from yourself?
Well, drugs were a good try, I guess. PCP, crack
cocaine, ecstasy, weed and alcohol were my best
friends. Being so high I wouldn’t know who I was
was nothing out of the ordinary.
I was so deep into the hell I called my life, I felt
there was no way out. I was addicted. Addicted to
drugs. Addicted to alcohol, to money, to women, to
stealing, to lying. I was addicted to a fast life of
crime. In short, I was addicted to sin.
I hurt and harmed so many people, but never gave
it a second thought. I wounded people physically,
mentally and emotionally. I robbed people, stole
cars, used and sold drugs, and even pimped a girl.
I stole from everyone, even friends and family
I did it all with the exception of killing someone.
Thank God, I finally got locked up at the age of 19
for a robbery.
I was so deep into the hell
I called my life, there was
no way out. I was addicted.
Addicted to drugs. Addicted
to alcohol... in short, I
was addicted to sin.
Once incarcerated, I was no longer able to turn to
drugs, alcohol, women or any of the other vices the
devil had provided me as an escape from dealing with
my depression. There was no way of escape. I knew
I was lost.
Even though I claimed to hate God, I had nowhere
else to turn. I knew I was a sinner, and I accepted
Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. After all I had
done, after all the lives I had ruined, including my
own, God still loved me and accepted me.
I finally began dealing with the loss of my parents.
It wasn’t easy, but God gave me the strength I needed
to get through it. Upon finding these two scriptures, I
knew that God was everything I needed and wanted.
Psalm 68:5 says that, “God is a Father to the
fatherless.” (And) Isaiah 66:13 says, “As a mother
comforts her child, so will God comfort us.”
I had a great mom and dad, but unfortunately, no
matter how great your parents are, they can’t always
be there for you. But God will never leave us.
I then learned that when Jesus died on the cross,
He not only died for our sins, but for our grief and
sorrows as well. I no longer have to let a spirit of
depression rule over me and abide in me.
The Lord has restored everything I allowed the
devil to steal. I recognized how blessed I am, and
can’t thank God enough. He delivered me from a life
filled with sin. If He did it for me, He will do it for
you, too. I am no different from the next man.
I was unable to recognize it at the time, but God is
the only thing that kept me through all my trials and
tribulations. At times, prison can be very hard. But
by the grace of God, I am able to overcome.
I have survived it all: guns to my head, attempted
stabbings, attempted suicide, being jumped by a rival
gang, car crashes at 100 mph, alcohol poisoning, drug
overdoses—through it all the Lord has kept me here
for a purpose.
So if you recognize a void—an emptiness in your
life—it’s a desire to be reconciled to God . If you
suffer and need healing, if your family or other relationships
have fallen apart (and) you know it’s time
to change you life but don’t know how, God can give
you a new day filled with hope. After years of dark
nights, joy comes in the morning.
Adam Porter, Chesapeake, VA
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